trading pressure for invitations

I grew up hearing about quiet times, preferably in the morning, to experience God. I used to think that this was one of the only valid ways to show up with the Lord. I came away with pressure to perform and guilt for when I failed to do so. I used to carry lots of pressure for how I related to the Lord.

But I’ve learned that the Lord is not limited to a morning quiet time or these boxes he’s been put into. In these recent years of mothering, I’ve learned to look for the Lord’s presence in other ways.

Sometimes it looks like holding onto a word or phrase, a short verse to ground my thoughts throughout the day.

It looks like lighting a candle to remind my heart of the Lord’s presence always with me.

It looks like listening to a Lectio Divina video, with my children on either side of me, as they play quietly.

It looks like praying for help with staying calm or what activity to do next, that matches my energy and what my kids need.

It can look like surrendering myself to yet another interruption (“can someone come wipe me, I did a poop!”) treating this present moment as my offering.

Sometimes I long for the neat edges of a morning quiet time, where I didn’t feel as needy or desperate. But I wouldn’t trade it for the gift of experiencing the Lord as my helper in my real, messy life. I’m experiencing the truth of his love for me, here, and there is so much freedom in that.

Ps. I’m just so grateful for Rev. Summer Gross as one of my teachers in this season. If you haven’t heard her podcast, The Presence Project, I can’t recommend it enough. Practical, real help for experiencing more of the presence of God. I recommend starting right at episode 1.

📷: my children playing with silly putty and trucks, with my Bible and my laptop set up between us to soak up today’s Lectio Divina from Mark of Jesus clearing the temple. I loved talking afterwards about how Jesus got angry and how that was okay.

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